I need help removing her.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
my sisters under your porch take her home
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
