I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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