i think i have herpe
just one?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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