Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
