And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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