the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
