Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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