I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
