so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
