Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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