i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
