my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Houston, we have a blender
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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