why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
