Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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