How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize