let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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