This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
