I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize