fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
