Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
