When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
