what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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