Yo dont text me then not text me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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