She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You have to summon your inner elephant
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
