I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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