You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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