she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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