tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
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