Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
