just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
