New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
