out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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