you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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