Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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