1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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