i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
