You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
