I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
