Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
