he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I touched a dick in church today
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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