Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
