Sponge bath it is.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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