Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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