hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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