Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
