He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
