Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
