just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
