There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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