Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
