Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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