I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Let's get the cat blown out
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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