she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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