I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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