We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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