I need help removing her.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
