It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
