Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
