So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize