At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
