The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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