I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
