FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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