Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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