He disabled his match.com account in front of me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
