Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Shame - the story of my life.
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