I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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