At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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