I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
