I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
