I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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