You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
