Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
