you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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